I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Candid Conversation.

The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, during the peak of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this holiday season.

The Film and That Line

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who masquerades as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. For much of the movie, the crime storyline serves as a loose framework for the star to have charming interactions with kids. Without a doubt the standout features a child named Joseph, who spontaneously announces and states the actor, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” The Terminator deadpans, “Thanks for the tip.”

That iconic child was portrayed by child star Miko Hughes. In addition to this part featured a character arc on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the child who returns in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with several projects in development. Furthermore, he is a regular on fan conventions. Not long ago recalled his memories from the filming of the classic over three decades on.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I don't recall being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're snapshots. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Frequently it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.

Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was extremely gentle. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I guess stands to reason. It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.

“It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I only wanted to hang out with him when he had time. He was busy, obviously, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be dangling there. He was incredibly giving. He purchased for each child in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was a major status symbol. This was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a authentic coach's whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your experience as being positive?

You know, it's amusing, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the legendary director, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the original Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would ask for my help to pass certain levels on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

That Famous Quote

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given approval in this case because it was comedic.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it came about, based on what I was told, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Give me a moment, I'll decide tomorrow" and took some time. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it could end up as one of the iconic quotes from the movie and history proved her correct.